Letters to Me
by cappychan
Summary: NaruHina. AU. "I don't like living alone with no one to love..." "But that's okay. A lot of people love you, they just don't show it." "Like who?" "Like me." In Slow-Progress.
1. Prologue

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_"I live alone most of the time, just getting beatings from my adoptive parents. I don't even know who my _real _parents are. Everyone thinks I'm crazy rich and has everything, but really, I have to the poorest, metaphorically and literally, person in the world. I have no moral, no concept, no real goal in life. I don't even know why my adoptive parents wanted me. They don't love me at all. They just yell, and curse, and beat me til' I'm out. School's my safe haven. At least some people respect me. I have no real reason to live. My 'family' hates me, my friends don't, my teachers don't respect me, civilians don't. Why should I still be living? My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I think I just found a reason to live. Her name is Hyuuga Hinata."_

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	2. It's Just Me

**AN: **written in letter format to himself, naruto talks about his life day to day. the letter's are dated and signed by him. each chapter will contain several letters naruto writes to himself, so it'll be his POV. you can consider them as diary entries, but in the end, you'll see why they're letters. i guess you can say this is Narutocentric it's a one-sided perspective type of story so yeah. i hope you guys like it, i came up with it in the shower three hours ago. please don't be offended by naruto's comments, i'm writing through how I imagine his reaction to said replies/retorts. ooc my fault, sorry. okay, i change my mind. these are like half diary entries half letters. he writes them on separate pieces of paper and like puts them in an individual envelope. but you guys can think what :]  
**Summary: **"I don't like living alone with no one to love..." "But that's okay. A lot of people love you, they just don't show it." "Like who?" "Like me."  
**Pairings: **naruhina, duh, implied shikatema, sakusasu, nejiten, tsujira & inochou  
**Rating: **T for language, and sexual reference, and whatever teenager-ish pops up ;)  
**Genres: **romance, hurt/comfort, dry-black-morose humor, angst, drama, friendship, family?

_Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, I am just borrowing the characters mentioned above. I also don't own any name brands mentioned._

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_September 8th_

Dear Me,

School started today. I guess it was an okay day. I don't really like the class and the roster, though. Homeroom's teacher is just... weird. Everything he says just sounds like he's talking about some chick's boobs. It's really strange. Second hour's teacher is just plain... _great. _Hint the sarcasm. She dyed her hair purple, she has a vampire bite tattoo on the base of her neck, she wears fishnets. Third hour's teacher is fucking scary. He has white hair and wears a fucking mask. He had this book with him, it's like a dude chasing a chick on the cover, really weird. I guess this is what junior year's like. I've got a shit load of things to sign.

_Naruto_

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_September 10th_

Dear Me,

Mom hit my arm yesterday so hard that I couldn't write. She hit me 'cause I asked her to sign my syllabi 'cause Dad was drunk. She then struck my face, telling me not to talk back. I think Mom was drunk too. Oh how I wish I knew my _real _parents. I should write down how I'm actually adopted. The mayor of the city told me, personally, that my mother and father were dead and any family that wanted to take me in, can. So my 'Mom and Dad' took me in and started beating me shit-less. They called me a 'monster' and a 'demon', but I didn't know what the fuck they were talking about!

I guess I should be fortunate she knows how to cool and is smart enough to feed me. Or else I wouldn't be here today. Heh, funny talkin' bout today, I saw Sakura today for the first time. Damn, she got hot! But everyone knows that she and Sasuke's going out. They're like a perfect couple. I envy that bastard. He gets every girl 'cause they throw themselves at him! No one really likes me! I can make a list of friends off the top of my head...

-Sakura (daaamn!)  
-Sasuke (even if we hate each other)  
-Neji (again, even if we hate each other)  
-Tenten (she plays great in sports!)  
-Lee (crazy and energetic, just how I like 'em)  
-Shikamaru (funnily lazy, it's hysterical)  
-Ino (she and Sakura get into cat fights a lot, it's crazy hot)  
-Chouji (my eating buddy)

Am I missing anyone? Nope. Fourth hour is kinda weird. Our teacher is a dude... that looks like a lady! Hahaha, but seriously, he's freaky pale, has crazy long hair, and has like snake eyes. Someone has a snake fetish! Fifth hour, sixth hour... SEVENTH HOUR! The teacher has a pony tail! And a crazy scar over his nose! It's weird! But he's crazy nice, and he offered to buy me lunch sometime! Fucking Hell, here comes Mom.

_Naruto _

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_September 15th_

Dear Me,

Fuck. I have cuts all over my arms. Dad threw a beer bottle at me. I sometimes _hate _my 'family' but really, if you had a house, money to go to school, a nice and cozy bed, and food at the table, you wouldn't want to leave, right? That's when I feel suicidal. Okay, I know what you're thinking, this is the third some letter, how can you be saying that? Well, _idiot, _listen closely, and read with wide-eyes: I have no real relatives. I have no life. I have no parents. I have no _real _friends. I've got nothing to live for. So you're probably thinking, 'Get your act together, man. Stop being a bitchy wuss and suck it up.' Well, first of all, shut the fuck up. Do you know how much it hurts to have bottles thrown at you just because you asked the wrong question? Do have cold food and is forced to eat it cold just because you got one answer wrong? Yeah, that's what I thought. Sitting there, tears in your eyes. Well you know what? I don't need this.

_Naruto_

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_September 17th_

Dear Me,

I've just noticed, that all the dates I write on, are the 'th's'. Cool, huh? First ten days of school down, and everyone thinks I super rich. I mean come one, really? What guy wears a pair of beat up Vans, jeans that are way too big for me and a shirt from some weird store I forgot the name of. Yeah, I have an iPod and a nice phone, but that doesn't mean I'm rich, right? Y'know who's rich? Neji. He's crazy rich, he has like six cars that are _his _and has a huge house. I've been to his house once, and I swear, I got lost. I, on the other hand, do not have a big house nor six cars. I have a bike and a shitty apartment. With two drunks and smokers. Fuck my life.

_Naruto_

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_September 20th_

Dear Me,

Why am I writing every two days? I really do not know. I'm writing this during sixth hour with the boring teacher no one cares about. You know what I have for sixth hour? Nothing. It's my free hour. I usually talk with Tenten and Lee, or do my homework, or write my letters, or see if my cuts are healed up. Or sometimes I sleep. But sixth hour isn't really an hour, it's like forty-five minutes, but they still call it an hour.

We got some new students today; Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro. You're probably thinking why this is supposed to be important, but I have a crazy feeling it will be important, just not now. Jeez, what a weird conversation we're having. It's going like this:

"Lee? Did you just say you like fucking socks?"

"No! I did not, Tenten!"

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Fucking socks."

"I do _not _fuck socks! But if I did, however, I would do it in a YOUTHFUL MANNER!"

"You do everything in a 'youthful manner'."

"Like fucking socks."

Weird, huh?

_Naruto_

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_September 21st_

Dear Me,

Finally, a 'st'! Today, my mom hit me in the face. It sounds like I'm complaining, but tomorrow, when I go to school with a black eye and swollen lip, I'm not gonna say anything. If I do, Mom's gonna hit me harder next time. I hate my life. I hate it so much. I wish I could just find it, materialize it and beat it to a bloody pulp. I'm going to Neji's house later for a project with Tenten and Lee. Did you know that Neji and Tenten are going out? It's really weird. I bet they're gonna get married someday. HAHAHA! I wish I had someone to love. My 'parents' don't love me. I have no relatives that _could _love me. So why bother trying? I gotta get started on my homework or Mom's gonna whoop my ass again. I hurt my ankle today to, but no one cares about that.

_Naruto_

_

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_**AN: **so what did you guys think? sad, funny, stupid? anything, i'll take it. concrit is great too, but if you're a bitch about it (which i would not attempt, since i'm on a lady thing) I will be super pissed. try me. review! and thank you reviewers/alerters/favoriters! you guys are great :3


	3. Me, Myself, and I

_September 22nd_

Dear Me,

I am so tired. You cannot understand how tired I am. I had to wait four fucking hours for my fucking 'parents' to pick me up from fucking school. I get out of school at three. So who here's a math whiz? What is four plus three? Seven! YES! I got home at seven thirty. I ate dinner and was scolded for not calling earlier. Well, _mom_, I would have called, but you took my cell phone away because she thought I was texting too much. When I told her that, she slapped me and told my 'dad' who whipped me with his belt. I hope they go to Hell.

_Naruto_

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_September 23rd_

Dear Me,

Yippee! My birthday's coming up. Like my parents would remember though. Last year, when I turned sixteen, they thought my birthday was on the seventh of January. My birthday's on October tenth. That project with Neji I had to do was ruined because we got into a fight. Now, we have less than a day to fix it. Tenten said she could fix it, but really, I don't think she can. I'm not doubting her or anything, but it was a model that Neji shoved me onto. Fuck that cold hearted bastard.

So you know that new kid, Gaara? Weirdo has no eyebrows! It's creepy. He doesn't talk either. And, he has a bag of sand in his pocket. Total creep. Mister Hatake (crazy dude wearing a mask) is weird. He doesn't teach us Jack shit, and he doesn't give us homework, not that I'm complaining. Maybe because I'm in AP history. Well, whatever, if there's no homework, I'm happy.

_Naruto_

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_September 25th_

_Dear Me,_

Holy jeez. I never knew how much my parent's drank. It's really weird. Did you know that Sasuke almost cheated on Sakura? I wish he did! They they would've broken up and then I could tell Sakura how I feel about her! Y'know what sucks? My dad thinks I can't get_any _girl. He never told me what happened to my dick when I first had an erection, he never told me the feelings I was having. Whatever happened to guy-to-guy talk, huh?

At least my mom thinks I have some sort of chance with a girl. A bitch. As in dog. She thinks I can fuck the dog. Gosh, what's wrong with my family?

_Naruto_

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_September 27th_

Dear Me,

School's getting rough. Work-wise. No one's beat me up, 'cept my parents, but that's different. So, you know that creeper snake dude? He felt up Sasuke's ass during class. It was scary. I sit in the far back to stay away from him, and since Trig is my least favorite class. Triangles are a pain in the ass. Especially when a creep is teaching it. Why does this high school have such weird teachers? I was called to the office today to talk to the principal, Miss Tsunade. She asked me to fill out the rest of my information. Our school updates info every year, which has its pros and cons. This is how it went:

"Good morning, Naruto, please have a seat."

I sit down.

"How have you been, lately?"

I shrug.

"Are your parents doing well?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Oh that's great. Well, I've been wondering if you could ask your parents to fill this out for me."

She hands me a stack of papers.

"What the fuck is it?"

"We do not use that type of language in school!"

"Sorry, what is it though?"

"It's just information, you've been here long enough. "

Right, I'm a junior.

"Oh, yeah. Can I just fill it out now?"

"Why?"

"Myparentswillforget..."

"What?"

"My. Pa. Rents. Will. For. Get."

"Oh... well then, sure."

Name. Uzumaki Naruto. Age. Sixteen. Sex. Haha, no thanks. Just kidding; male. DoB. October Tenth, Nineteen-ninety four. Yadadada. Boring. Then, Miss Tsunade told me to get it signed. Fat chance it'll happen peacefully.

_Naruto_

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_September 30th_

Dear Me,

Right... remember how I wrote that Tsunade had me get those papers signed? My mom told me to ask my dad who told me to ask my mom who told me to ask my dad who told me to ask my mom who told me to take the garbage out, which I did, and to asked my dad who told me to get him another beer, which I did, to ask my mom who told me to ask the cat, when we don't have a cat, who told me to buy her a pack of cigarettes. Then, when I came back with the police, my parents grounded me and slapped me twice... I told you it wouldn't happen peacefully. At least I forged it!

_Naruto_

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_October 2nd_

Dear Me,

Did you know that the little piece of skin on your elbow's called a weenus? I bet you didn't! Ha, just kidding. But really, did you know that Neji has a cousin? I didn't. They live in the same house too. I never really noticed her. She's in all my classes except homeroom. She wears glasses, has long hair, and wears the same thing everyday. And she has braces. She looks like a nerd. She's really quiet, and is always blushing. It's weird. Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, _really _weird. What's she thinking up there? Well, what do I care? I've got to start my social studies project.

_Naruto_

_

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_**AN: **so sorry for such a long wait. i was busy for a long time. in my story, hinata appears as a nerd... so don't hate me. you'll see why later. don't forget to review! kthnxbai~


	4. Forget About Them, It's About Me

**AN: **man I feel like some kind of evil bitch for not updating! I'm really sorry, i've just had a lot of shit to put through, and I haven't had the chance to update, but I am right now (: after reading your reviews they made me want to continue this story (: so please enjoy! And review, they're what keeps me going :D

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_October 5th_

Dear Me,

So about that Hinata chick, she's actually pretty cool... sort of. I mean, I've talked to her like once, I remember, in the first grade when she gave me a flower and I crumpled it. Looking back at that, I feel like a bastard. So yesterday, I went and said sorry to her, which as I look at it today is incredibly stupid... but she blushed and giggled and said it was okay. Which is good for me, because whenever I tell someone I'm sorry, they just roll their eyes and walk away. I'm going to Sakura's house today with Sasuke and Rock Lee. It's gonna be crazy.

_Naruto_

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_October 6th_

Dear Me,

So... that Sakura, Sasuke, Rock Lee thing didn't really work out. I mean, first of all, Sakura's dad didn't really like me, Sauske and Sakura just made out half of the time, and Rock Lee sat there awkwardly watching. I just sat in the corner, doing absolutely nothing. It was a lot of fun! (Hint the use of sarcasm in the ink). Anyway, I'm going to this coffee shop later with Kiba and Chouji. Kiba and I don't necessarily get along, but hey, I'll do _anything _to get out of that hell house. Dear almighty figure above, let this be a pleasant experience.

_Naruto _

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_October 8th_

Dear Me,

Coffee shop incident was actually alright. We saw a few hotties there, had a cup of joe, and asked the barista if there was diet ice. Haha, good times, good times. She got really pissed though and it just made it all the more funnier. We spent exactly $16.16 and Kiba paid for us. I guess he's alright. I owe him $4.04 though, which kinda sucks. Oh well. I've gotten no homework these past two days and it makes me insanely happy. My 'parents' have been out of town since yesterday (they went somewhere, I hope it's far away) and won't be back till next week. Did someone say 'house party'? Haha, yeah right; in your dreams.

_Naruto _

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_October 10th_

Dear Me,

"I call dibs on Priest!"

"But you're a girl..."

"So, that doesn't mean I can't be the Priest!"

"I thought I was gonna be the Priest!"

"No... Tenten actually asked first."

"You can be the flower girl Lee!"

"Okay! AND I can be the ring bearer!"

"Yup!"

Sakura and Sasuke are getting 'married'.

_Naruto _

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_October 12th_

Dear Me,

It's Friday and that means I get to sleep the weekend away! Nobody knows how long I stay up at night because I'm an insomniac. I stay up a lot because I write these letters. I think it's better than keeping a diary... err, I mean journal. Writing letters are a simpler way to organize things. I'm sleepy, gonna try to sleep tonight.

_Naruto _

_October 14th _

Dear Me,

So that Hinata girl, she was being made fun of today. It was sick and twisted and those assholes should have known better since she's a Hyuuga but they did it anyways. I don't know if it was the right thing to stand up for her but I did. They called her a 'nerd' and a 'hopeless freak'. It wasn't cool. When I told them off, she thanked me, and I saw the tears for in her eyes and she ran off like a shy mouse. Standing up for a girl I barely know felt good. It made me feel relevant to this world. I think I'm gonna be a good person more often.

_Naruto_


	5. I, My, Me

**AN: **Heyy gorgeous people! I am back. I've got so much stuff on my plate so I'm trying to update a lot of things at once. So if it isn't updated, WAIT GOD DAMN IT. It will be updated, just like this story is. (: so anyways, just enjoy and PLEASE review.

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_October 15th,_

Dear Me,

My parents' aren't home yet. Hallelujah! They're gonna be back in a few days, they said in the voice mail they left yesterday night. They sounded stoned. Well whatever, I'm glad I'm adopted... I wouldn't want to be a crackhead baby. That would be weird. So I found out a little bit more about Hinata. I sound super stalker-ish right now... Oh well. Fuck it. Anyways, she doesn't have very many friends but I know she's friends with Tenten. Gonna start my homework now.

_Naruto _

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_October 17th,_

Dear Me,

Y'know what's sad? What's really, _really _sad? Seeing a girl eating lunch by herself. I mean, who gives a shit if a guy's eating lunch by himself? Yeah I thought so. But it's worst when you see a girl eating lunch by herself. It's just heartbreaking. And that's saying something considering that I don't say shit like that. So I ate lunch with her. Oh right, I didn't mention who it was. It was... HINATA. I was like, 'the fuck dude? SHE'S LIKE FREAKING ROYALTY! WHY ISN'T ANYONE EATING LUNCH WITH HER?' so I sat down and asked her why no one was here with her...

"Hey... uh, mind if I sit here?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Why isn't anyone eating... lunch with you?"

"T-tenten went o-outside t-to pl-play w-with th-the guys..."

Mhmm, I see. This is sad. That's all I got to say. Sad.

_Naruto _

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_October 18th_

Dear Me,

I've got good news, and horrible news. Which do you want to hear first? Horrible news? Alright, brace yourself for this... MY PARENTS ARE BACK. AHHHHH. Yeah. It's as bad as you think. So the good news? THERE IS NO GOOD NEWS. Haha just messing with you, there is. Y'know... I forgot. Maybe it'll come back later. So anyways, my parents came back and they scared the living Jesus out of me. I was on the couch watching TV when they just burst through the doors like no one's business. I screamed. They screamed. And I got hit. FUN RIGHT? Yeah no.

_Naruto _

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_October 19th _

Dear Me,

I finally remembered what I forgot! You remember? From yesterday? So, I was walking home 'cause I missed the bus, and I saw Hinata sitting across the street on some bench. She was reading. I SOUND LIKE A FREAKING STALKER! So anyways, she was by herself and I was like. 'Hmm I should be a good person and go over there and just chill with her.' So I did. She was really nice. Made my day. It was like sunshine in a dark room. That reminds me; I've got to start that poem for English...

_Naruto_

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_October 21st _

Dear Me,

'Sunshine' by Uzumaki Naruto

_There's sunshine, in the darkest of days_

_behind the clouds, and there's not many ways_

_to make the sunshine take your breath away _

_than seeing somebody like you slay_

_the darkness that engulfs my rays. _

That's my poem. Pretty shitty huh?

_Naruto _

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_October 22nd _

Dear Me,

Did I ever mention, that I turned seventeen? Yeah... I think I kind of forgot about that. Oh well. I'm seventeen. Yay! Awesome possum sauce-em. So, the nice Naruto inside of me decided to eat lunch again with Hinata. She's pretty awesome. I wonder why no one wants to be her friend... maybe it's her appearance? Nahh. Y'know... I've been a lot happier since I've hung out with Hinata. I think it's a sign. Oh shit. My parents are home. And they're drunk.

_Naruto_

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**AN: **so yeah. You guys can get mad at me for being gone, but at least think about that fact that i'm a human being too and have feelings. SO, anyways, review! AND can anyone guess who that POEM was about? I'll give you a cookie if you get it right :D I wrote the poem, it's really bad. But if you want to use it ask first, I will most likely say yes. (:


	6. By Myself

_October 24th _

Dear Me,

Halloween's in seven days! Sakura and Ino always throws a _huge _party at Ino's uncle's house and everyone's invited. I've got to talk to Hinata about this. Yeah, we're friends. I'm glad we're friends. She really _actually _pretty rad. So many people ask why I'm friends with her and I just tell them to piss off. Why are so many people douches' these days? I can be friends with whoever the fuck I want to be. It's a free country right? Last time I checked it was...

_Naruto _

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_October 25th _

Dear Me,

"Hey, Hinata,"

"H-hi,"

"Are you going to Sakura and Ino's Halloween party?"

There was a pause.

"N-no..."

"Why not?"

"I w-wasn't in-invited..."

I needed a talk with Sakura.

_Naruto _

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_October 27th _

Dear Me,

Finding Sakura was really hard. She didn't come to school the past two days, as I found out from Sasuke. She was probably doing the party prep. As I meandered through the halls on this fine Wednesday afternoon, I ran into a certain pink-haired goddess. Yeah, I still had a _HUGE _crush on Sakura, but right now, I'm debating. This is what happened when I stopped and confronted her.

"Oh, there you are!"

"Hey Naruto! What's up?"

"There's something I've got to ask you,"

"If it's to break up with Sasuke, it's a no,"

"Wh-what? No! That's not it!"

"Then what is it?"

"Why isn't Hinata invited?"

"What? Oh you mean that weird girl that's cousins with Neji? Oh yeah, I don't like her. She's awkward; I mean, can you imagine someone like her going to a party like _this_?" Sakura held up a flier for the party. She suddenly became unattractive.

"Don't talk about her like that! You don't know who she is! If she's not going, then count me out!" After that, my _HUGE _crush on Sakura disappeared, burned to ashes and floated away. I stormed off to my next class.

_Naruto _

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_October 28th _

Dear Me,

So, after lashing out at Sakura like that, my life became rather depressing. The whole gang avoided me – this has happened before like a long time ago, it'll blow over in a few days – and Hinata wasn't even at school. Why does it feel like I'm sad and lonely all the time? Am I gonna grow old like this? I hope not. When I'm eighteen, I'm just gonna move out. Leave this idiots behind. I don't need them and they don't need me. Speaking of those idiots, they're out clubbing. I hope they get shot.

_Naruto _

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_October 30th _

Dear Me,

On any normal Halloween, I would be rocking out at Ino's uncle's house. This Halloween, I was playing my PS3. Don't ask how I got it; it was a long story. Long and painful. Aside from that, I don't regret anything I said to Sakura. I don't regret anything I did. She shouldn't say shit like that about a person she's never talked too. Gosh, why are people so _stereotypical_? I can see it now, can't you? I mean, they're my only friends aside from Hinata, but they all some kind of 'stereotype'. Just got a text... wonder who it could be...

**Hey **

From: Neji

**Hey man, what's up?**

From: Me

**Nothing really... **

From: Neji

Neji and I don't really well so I don't understand why he's texting me.

**Sounds fun**

From: Me

**Yeah. Thanks. **

From Neji

**Thanks that you're doing nothing?**

From: Me

**No not that. Thanks for standing up for Hinata. Sakura told us about it. I would tell you in person, but Sakura and Ino would just cause a scene. Anyways, Hinata has always been shy and it's hard for her to reach out to people... So I just wanted to say thank you.**

From: Neji

Did he just say thank you to me? The world must be ending.

**Yeah, no problem. I just can't stand what Sakura said. **

From: Me

**I understand. Well, I've got to go now. I'll see you on Monday?**

From: Neji

That was when I smiled.

**Yeah. See ya. **

From: Me

_Naruto_

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_November 1st _

Dear Me,

I had lunch with the gang today. Sakura refused to talk to me, which is perfectly fine. I don't give a fuck. Besides that, Neji asked if I wanted to come over to his house. How could I say no? I mean, it's fucking Neji Hyuuga. His house is huge. Not to mention he has like fifty maids and butlers, a chauffeur, and two pools. Yeah, I'm gonna have a shitload of fun. Waiiiit. I just remembered. Hinata lives with Neji. Awesome, the three of us could hang out! What a day this is going to be.

_Naruto _

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**AN: **Just so you guys know, I actually like Sakura, so that wasn't bashing. It was just a way for Naruto to stand up to Hinata. Yeah, so review? Also, I'm going on a trip from the 18th to the 27th so don't expect any updates. If you review and read this Author's Note (I sometimes think no one reads my AN's) put 'Lebanon' somewhere in there (: Thanks!


	7. Nobody

_November 2nd _

Dear Me,

I just came home from Neji's house. It was FUCKING incredible. No freaking joke. So we walked to his house, even two miles away you can spot that mansion. When we got there, the three of us decided to watch a movie in his basement theater thing, We had to stop halfway though because the maids had to clean the theater. So we went to the pool. It's kind of ridiculous to use a pool in the fall, but it was indoors so it's all good. Then I guess we talked and ate some food. We didn't talk about anything important, just about how Chouji is gonna try and ask Ino out. He's liked her since eighth grade and now he's finally ready to ask her out. She's gonna say yes.

_Naruto _

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_November 3rd _

Dear Me,

I don't know what's more sad; the fact that my parents called me a worthless, inferior little shit or that they hit me multiple times. After that incident, I felt smaller than ever before. I felt like the world didn't want me. I wanted to run away. I wanted to leave this world behind. But I didn't know where I would go. I didn't have enough money to run away. Then I thought about it. I could move in with somebody. But who would take in a kid like me? I've heard people talk about how their parents said I was a 'bad seed' and that I shouldn't hang around with those people. They're wrong. They're all wrong. They don't know who I am. If they listened, listened for one _small _second, they would understand. But they never do. That's what I call judging a book by its cover. They don't know what I have to say. They just assume whatever the fuck they want. But you know what? I don't need this. Then, I thought about suicide...

_Naruto _

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_November 10th _

Dear Me,

I couldn't do it. I had a handful of sleep aid and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I really wanted to though. I skipped two days of school then went back. I couldn't face those people I called my friends. They wouldn't understand because they never do. That's when I went looking for Hinata. I knew she would understand. She's Hinata after all. But when I tried to look for her, I felt guilty. I didn't know why. I still went though, and when I searched everywhere, I couldn't find her. I started panicking and looked for Neji. He said she went on a trip to see her grandfather. She would be gone for two weeks. I couldn't go that long without talking to her. So I tried it again. I tried suicide again. Just because my parents couldn't take that I missed two days of school.

_Naruto _

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_November 14th _

Dear Me,

I'm such a weakling. Couldn't even do it _again. _I'm not sure what today is but I have three missed calls. Two of them were from my school and one was from an unknown number. I don't pick up to random numbers. I _really _needed to talk to someone. Right now. But here's the thing, they... _they _don't listen. _They _like to talk and _they _always say that _they _listen when they don't. _They _just fucking don't! Just because I'm not _normal _doesn't mean I can't talk. I'm frustrated with the world. I want to pick it up, and shake it around. Maybe the people who aren't smart will fall into oblivion. I want someone to answer my question. God, Jesus, Lucifer, hell the lead singer of that band! Someone, just tell me, _why was I born_? I shouldn't have been born because I live in terrible conditions. Maybe my real mother was raped and she didn't want me because I was going to be a burden to her and her family. Maybe my _real _parents had sex at a young age and had to give me up because I was the thing that ruined their futures. Well you know what? Fuck them, fuck the world, fuck everyone.

_Naruto _

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_November 15th _

Dear Me,

Who the fuck keeps on calling me? Who do they think they are? The same unknown number keeps calling. This is like the fifteenth time they've called. Oh and here, they sent a text. It says:

**Come to school please. **

I should really mention that I stared at this text for seven minutes straight. I looked at the clock. If I went to school right now, I'd be thirty minutes late. I decided to go. Just so I can find out who this person is. And besides, I don't want my parents to beat the shit out of me again.

_Naruto _

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_November 16th _

Dear Me,

So when I got to school yesterday, all the teachers didn't really ask why I was gone. Thank God too. If they did I would have snapped and punched someone in the face. As soon as I walked through the doors, I got a text saying,

**Meet me outside during lunch. **

Hope this person knows who they're shitting around with. Besides getting a lot of homework, I was really relieved no one came and asked me obnoxious questions. When lunch came around, I hurried outside. There was no one there. I was frustrated until I got another text telling me to go behind the school. I did as so and there sat... Hinata. I was thrilled. No one could believe how happy I was. Has it been two wees already? She smiled slightly and that was probably the best thing I've seen in days. She motioned for me to sit down next to her and then for some reason, I got nervous.

"N-Neji said you wanted to see me, so I came back..."

"You didn't have to leave your grandfather just to come see me,"

She shook her head and said, "It's fine, I wasn't that far anyways. What's been bugging you? Neji said you've been gone from school for a while now,"

I didn't want to tell her. I just had this guilt in me. I didn't know what this feeling was, but I know it took a long time for me to tell her.

"I-I've just had troubles at home..." I looked at Hinata and she looked like she didn't believe me.

"It's m-more than that I know," I sighed and decided to come clean. I told her everything. She didn't say much but she patted my hand and the left side of her lip was curved upwards slightly in a small, yet forgiving smile. I think I even started to cry. Just a little bit though. I'm a guy after all.

"It-it's not good to bottle up these f-feelings, Naruto, I'm glad you came to talk to me," She said. I looked at her with blurry eyes and saw her glowing face.

"Y-yeah, but it's not that. It's just that, no one understands. I don't like living alone with no one to love,"

"But that's okay, a lot of people love you, they just don't show it,"

"Like who?"

"Like me," I stared at her for a long time when I sat out there. Did that mean she liked me? Like I mean for than a friend? I didn't know. I couldn't answer that question. I couldn't answer a lot of questions.

One things for sure though, I felt a lot better after telling Hinata all those things. I even smiled.

_Naruto _

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**AN: **so this chapter is pretty emotional. I know some people might have gone through this, not just the abuse but people not listening. I've gone through it and I can tell anyone it hurts. It hurts a lot. But, when you talk to someone about it, let it all out, you feel better. I've had a breakdown because no one understood what I was going through. But I talked to someone, and I'm here now to say so. So please if anyone you know is going through something is heartbreaking, sit down and listen to them. Sometimes, all it takes is to listen. Suicide is never the right choice because God gave you a chance to live. Don't throw it away.


	8. Someone

_November 17th _

Dear Me,

After that... heart to heart with Hinata, I decided to go back to school for a little bit. It was kind of hard to get back into the groove of everything but I eventually got it. When I came home after school yesterday, I locked myself in my room and just ignored everything. I didn't want to see them after seeing Hinata because I knew that seeing them would taint her image in my mind. If it wasn't for her I don't think I'd still be alive. If she hadn't asked me to come to school, I think I would've actually done it yesterday. But she was there, and she reached out to me. Maybe the world isn't so bad after all.

_Naruto_

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_November 21st _

Dear Me,

I'm still alive, don't worry. So, school's been all right. Hinata went back to visit her grandpa after we talked and then she came back. We haven't really talked about what happened that day and I don't really feel comfortable bringing it back up. Days seem brighter with Hinata around. Anyways, what I wanted to really talk about was the Snow Ball coming up. Our school throws one every year even when there's no snow. I really don't get the point in throwing one when we don't have snow but whatever. In the past I've never attended one and I don't plan on doing so. They're having the dance in December or something like that. I already know that Sakura and Sasuke are probably going to get crowed Snow Prince and Princess this year. They did last year so. Remember that Kiba guy? He hasn't been in school for a little while and I was kind of wondering why and I just found out he transferred like a week after I hung out with him. Huh, who would have known. Oh well, he kind of sucked anyways, I'm glad he's gone.

_Naruto _

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_November 23rd _

Dear Me,

It is finally Thanksgiving break. Since I was out of school for a real long time I have a shit ton of work to catch up on. I haven't left my room much since break started since my 'parents' are out there. The only time I really leave is to use the bathroom. And when I get hungry I walk to the noodle shop a block down. The guy who owns the place knows me pretty well, and he's one of the only people who actually know about what goes on at home so he gives me a bowl for free. He's a cool guy.

_Naruto _

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November 28th

Dear Me,

Meh, so break is over now and I'm back at school. I didn't write a letter over the other days because nothing interesting happened. Like literally. I only texted Hinata for a bit but that's about it. At lunch today, Sakura was talking about the Snow Ball and what she and Sasuke were going to wear. Neji asked me if I was going and I told him no. They all looked pretty disappointed, well except for Sakura and Sasuke – they don't really care anyways. I dunno, if I went what would I do? I can't dance, and if I don't take a girl then I'd be known as the class loser. Oh wait.

_Naruto_

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November 29th

Dear Me,

I seriously can't wait for this year to be over. For a number of reason, though the most important would be because no more homework. Homework blows so hard, I fucking hate it. It's starting to get cold around here now since winter's coming. I can tell because the leaves are dead and Hinata wasn't here at school today. She caught a cold. I hope she gets better soon. I'd pay her a visit, but I don't want her dad to kill me. He's a pretty big dude - and I don't mean in weight. He's on the school board or maybe in the government I don't know which but it's really serious and I don't want to get onto the bad side of that guy. Actually, I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of anyone. I just don't want anyone else to hate me.

_Naruto _

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November 30th

Dear Me,

Okay, so in a few letters back I was talking about considering taking a girl to the Snow Ball, right? That's a stupid idea. Why would I even think about that. Was I high? No, I don't do drugs, never mind. Maybe... No I shouldn't even think that either. If someone found this they'd think, "what the hell is this kid talking about?" Well, to save you (future reader) the trouble of figuring it out, I _was _considering asking Hinata to the Snow Ball, but then – now I'm laughing really hard at myself – I thought, "No, that's really stupid." It's stupid because she wouldn't go to the Snow Ball with someone like me. Even if she said she liked me, whatever the fuck that meant. And, I don't know. I don't want to feel selfish, but if I brought the school's "nerdiest" girl – though I'd beg to differ – to the Ball and I being the school's laughing stock, it'd just make things harder for her. Or me. I'm not sure. And then people would think we're dating, which would be even worse. No, it just wouldn't work. Not at all. Just stop thinking that Naruto, you're crazy. I'm going to bed now.

_Naruto _

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**AN: **WOW IT'S BEEN SO LONG I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY. If you haven't given up on this story yet I applaud you. Anyways, this chapter REALLY gives away something big like obviously since I'm awful at being subtle. But yeah. Hope you guys enjoy it anyways. Oh and I got a tablet, so I'll be making a cover for this story really soon. So yeah. Review because I luff yew.


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